I feel so down today?
deaf girl moan
I feel down because I don’t have a job to earn myself a living, interact with people, which i like doing, (i’m very approachable) and whenever i look for jobs, i have no luck in it.
Then comes my home life, my mum, constant nagging, constant telling me how she had a bad luck in love, men etc. got blind and deaf arrange marriage, divorced after 24 years. I DO emphasise with her a lot but she goes on about it. I’m asking myself, "why does she talk about these things to me when i only ask for freedom?" Why? is she jealous? Always ony my sisters case of irresponsible and then tells me, why can’t she confront her instead? always complaining and always say she’s down on her luck, shae can be selfish too. I’ve always told her, to stay strong and keep your head high and stop moaning about her bad luck. This is where i get depressed because i really wanna be a regular 22 yr old girl, having the time of my life and lead myself to a great adventure.
Then heres my lack of friends, well i have friends that are cool and great to talk to but i’d like to be in a bigger social circle too so that i can have a life and sociable.
As for love life, i dont really wanna talk about it but it where i have to choose between my guy friend who i have been friends for 2 yrs but dont know where i truly stand with him because we got off the FWB and another guy from my university, barely know him but i find him attractive and i know he likes me too.
I don’t mind hard work and responsibilites but i wanna have fun too and i wanna make my life story exciting. I dont wanna be a boring person who stays at home and does nothing.
and my final fear is that I’m scared if i’m gonna be married too soon like when i turn 23 or 24, for me its too early and i wanna be married to someone who is right for me and the right time and the constant talk between my mum and her families back home scares me i dont be married until i feel i’m mature enough to understand relationships and mature enough to handle the traditional the meeting the in laws, etc.
Why people cannot understand how i feel about stuff, my mum doesn’t listen on what i got to say per se but she wants most things her way, my sister her and her constant freedom and both my mum and my sister suck my freedom out and i feel so claustrophobic.
I hate crying and i just wanna be happy for once in my life, why cant i get that??
2 Responses to “I feel so down today?”
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ok pet,
I can see where you are coming from on this, but you have got to step outside of the box and look in and see what is wrong cos at the end of the day there is only one person who can change all this and that person is you.
You have got to take a leap of faith in yourself and others
I married my wife when I was 19 and she was 17, not because we had to, but because we wanted to, and was we really that mature enough, hell no, but it’s learning curve and that was our choice.
it appears to me you may be forced into an arranged marriage due to your background, forgive me if I am wrong, but that’s the impression you give and that frightens the hell out of you as you want a life.
Well girl go out and get one, but you have to take that leap of faith and believe in your self
good luck and take care.
and if you need some one to talk to outside of the loop you can always mail me on here I will always reply.
i am feeling very down myself too. life suck its just how it is i guess,